tea berry-blue (teaberryblue) wrote,
tea berry-blue

Summing it up


Went back to the doctor. He said all my side effects are pretty normal and nothing to worry about, and for the most part they've subsided, other than the sleepiness.

I talked to him a bit more about stuff. The main stuff being the fact that I keep feeling guilty for things or that people are mad at me or that things are my fault. he said that's normal, too. The weirdest thing is that I'm becoming more and more aware that my emotional responses are irrational and while I've been getting upset less (maybe reallyupset once a weekish), I've been getting really upset and sitting there thinking, damn, I shouldn't be upset about this, this is a really stupid thing to be upset about, and get mad at myself for being upset. Real super behavior, I know. It's funny to be analytical about your own emotions, is all.

I mentioned to my mom maybe spending time at home for a while after I leave work, and before I figure out where I want to be. I just feel like I need to make sure I get taken care of, it's weird to fee this helpless. I think my parents are pretty cool with that, it must be weird for them to be getting a full house just as they were expecting to be rid of children.

So anyway, funny thing happened today which was an important lesson in cultureal differences. My mother's cleaning woman, who is Latina, though I'm not sure from where, was over to clean. I hadn't seen her in a while, so we said hi, talked for a few minutes, when she said,

"You look so skinny!"
I said, "Yeah, I lost weight."
She said, "That's okay, you look good anyway."

The average Caucasian (usually Jewish or Italian) New Yorker response to someone losing a lot of weight, even when it's obviously a health concern, is "Oh my god, you look great, you've lost so much weight, blahblah."

So I found this kind of amusing.

My mom wants to take me away for a week after Christmas. Somewhere in the Americas or Europe, not too long a flight, where neither of us have been, I think were the requirements. She wanted to know if there was anywhere I really, really wanted to go, but I'm a bit at a loss.

Oh, and from my perspective: I'd like to go somewhere not too cold or dismal, with interesting historical stuff to look at.

Any suggestions?
Tags: health:mental, life
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