February 11th, 2002

cap, captain miss america

who is...

metalheart

this is the first time i've been put on the friends list of someone i don't *think* i've had any contact with...i can't see the website because envy.nu is misbehaving. anyway, i am intrigued. intrigued, however, is not an LJ mood.

hello there.

back to work.
cap, captain miss america

high-ho

i am sleepy. i don't feel really shitty though, just sleepy. not falldown tired, not migrainey, and not the way i feel at night when i'm up too late.

last night wasn't really cathartic but growing up is hard. i thin i'm doing a pretty good job of being a grownup, i just have to figure out what grownup i want to be. i have a real job, i work my butt off, but i feel like i am accomplishing little or nothing. i'm not writing. all i'm doing is marking time and it seems like a waste because if i were spending this time trying to make something then i would have more time to continue to do it. making things is good. is there any point to sitting in a decent job and just counting the days and the cash n my bank account until i have enough money to support myself while i try to write for a living? why shouldn't i just do it now?

i hate feeling like i'm not getting anything done.