April 28th, 2005

cap, captain miss america

All the time in the world

I am not good at making up my mind for myself. It's funny, in a way, but I tend to wait for other people to tell me what to do and just go along with it. I don't think this is a particularly bad thing, and it's not like I go along with things I don't want to do or anything; I think in most circumstances, it's just that I, well, like most things and don't mind most others. I have very few strong feelings about things, I guess.

What's funniest about this is that I was constantly told as a child and teenager that my feelings were too strong, that I was inflexible, that I didn't take other people into account. I'm not sure if I really did, ever, or if I just adapted based on what people told me about myself or something. But I really tend to just go with the flow.

Anyway, after my lease runs out in Cambridge, I am not going to have a flow to go with. In some ways it's scary and in others it's sort of exciting. I actually have infinite options open to me. And no one is telling me what to do or which to take. I've never had that before. There's always been someone telling me or suggesting to me or urging me in one direction or another. I'm sure I'll get that by the time I narrow things down, but for now, it's like, well, I could really do anything.

Collapse )
  • Current Mood
    quixotic quixotic