May 18th, 2011

cap, captain miss america

Updatey Thing

So, today, I stayed home from work because I woke up at about 6:45 feeling atrociously atrocious. I couldn't get back to sleep, so I noodled around on the computer, called in sick to work, and ate a bunch of lemon lozenges the doctor at work gave me yesterday, then realized that the alarm that should have been waking me up was going off and took that as a sign that I should go back to bed. I holed up in my room and conked out for about four hours, then got up and noodled about a bit more and went to the grocery store to buy myself more fluids.

I I don't think I've drunk quite as much as yesterday, but:

80 oz water
30.5 oz R.W. Knudsen Grape Spritzer
22.3 oz San Pellegrino Limonata
20 oz Coca-Cola

Then I went to the drugstore and got a new inhaler, because I had a prescription for a new one, and I thought that might help. Holy god, did it ever. My new inhaler is possibly replacing all of you as my new best friend. It's like, puff, I have lungs now! Breathing! I can do it! Also, it's pretty obvious that this is related to my usual respiratory issues, and therefore I don't have to worry about the baby.

I took it pretty easy today, worked on some web stuff, and one of my LJ Idol entries, and did pretty much nothing else apart from eating some pasta with fiddleheads. Ah, fiddleheads, I love you so!

The most wonderful news of the day is that quizzicalsphinx is coming to visit me in June! In exactly three weeks! Eeeeee. I have not seen her for three years. And this is the first time I will have her all to myself and not a billionty people here. So much excitedment.

I am feeling way better now that I have my inhaler and stuff, so I will be going back to work tomorrow. Throat is mostly okay. My nose is running like it's training for a marathon, but a packet of tissues can deal with that. Definitely needed the day off, though. Definitely happy that I only have two days to work and then I'm off to Denver.
cap, captain miss america

Dreaming

I've been having more and more vivid dreams the past few days, and all ones that are at least in concept fairly realistic, no weird fantasist moments, and all about me and real people I know. Which is a little weird for me. But I'm rolling with it.

I had two dreams in a row about the same person, one where I was on an airplane and realized I hadn't said goodbye to them. This is one of those cases of "not a close enough friend for me to post about them in my LJ without asking permission" things, especially in the semi-creepy context of "hey, I dreamed about you!" I have a lot of anxiety dreams about airplanes, especially when I'm about to travel. There's lots of crazy, lurid 9/11 shit in them usually-- I didn't have an LJ during 9/11, but I think some of the later dreams were recorded. Anyway! That was the first one. Sunday night? Then Monday night, I had a dream that I met up with the same person at a cafe...to apologize to them for not seeing them the last time I was in town. It was a cafe with those sort of old-fashioned ice cream parlor-looking chairs and a black and white tile floor. I remember them having really good salads. It was pretty mundane stuff.

Then, last night, I had this dream: It started at work. I was upset about something and in a meeting with a lot of people who don't actually work here, and I said a lot of stupid things because I was upset and sort of made an idiot of myself. And then one of my friends from high school showed up in the foyer of our floor, and I let him in and started chatting with him. And while we were chatting, the person this post was about showed up. Now, since it's not something I've mentioned really, I've completely stopped talking to him because our interactions in person just got to a point where I decided I had to get out because they were too emotionally taxing for me. I think the last time I saw him was two Christmases ago, and I didn't even hear from him again for over a year after that. So it's not like it's been particularly hard to avoid communication. I saw him through the glass that separates the workspace of our office from the foyer, and it was one of those, oh, shit, I know I'm going to have to talk to you eventually moments, but my high school friend dragged me away.

Now, there's this thing I have to say about this particular friend. We were really only friends peripherally: he was one of my close friends' other best friends, and so we ended up participating in activities together; I somehow ended up at the breakfast table the morning after he met the girl who would be his girlfriend for the next three years, we hung out a couple times when our mutual friend bowed out of something. But I didn't ever really know him well. But he shows up in my dreams now and then and it's always in this weird capacity that I would almost liken to a spirit guide. Like, once I had a dream that I died and went to Hell, and it was very Inferno-esque, with the whole tour of hell and stuff, and he was my Virgil.

It's odd because it's a very unlikely role for him to play in terms of my personal opinions of him. I mean, of course I liked and respected him, but I didn't idolize him or look up to him really. He was very physically attracted (my mother always said he was the best-looking boy in my school by a long shot) but I wasn't personally very attracted to him. So I don't know why my brain likes to cast him this way.

The office I work in has a circular construction around the elevator bank/foyer, and this friend took me on a walk around the full circumference of my floor. I don't remember what we talked about, but I do remember the last thing he said. "It's good to see you," he said. "And I'm happy to see you so happily in love. Who is it with?"

My answer was "Actually, it's two people."

And to leave you, and me on a cliffhanger, that's all on the dream front. I am feeling a little better today although I am much snottier than I was the past two days. I hope that is just everything draining out. I find myself counting the hours impatiently till I can take another puff of my inhaler (I have about fifteen minutes right now) because it's the only way I feel completely human. I feel like I'm getting snot all over everything.

I'm going out with gildedage later; I think we are going to see the Thor movie! Which is not as exciting as my dreams but is directed by Kenneth Branagh!