tea berry-blue (teaberryblue) wrote,
tea berry-blue

Leaving is always the hardest part

So after feeling all slippish last week, I ended up going to visit my parents, which then always winds up making me feel better when Im there but worse when I leave.

I went into the city on Saturday and saw Colin, whom I love and adore, and that was really nice. Getting picked up off my feet every time I see him is kind of one of those things that, I don't know, picks me up. That and the very serious look he always gives me when he looks me over and gives me a nod and tells me that everything's better now that he's seen me and I look all right and he doesn't have to worry anymore.

We went to this art museum, after getting hopelessly turned around because the subway system has undergone a ton of changes in the past year, and went to one of the absolute coolest installations I have ever seen. It was a hall that had been entirely upholstered and built up so it was a gigantic pillow fort, with lots of little obstacles you had to crawl through. I was in absolute heaven, and we got out, and Colin asked me very sheepishly if we could go through it again. I don't think I've squeaked so much in such a brief period of time in a while. So much love for the squishy tunnel, as Colin dubbed it.

I kept thinking of that scene in Breakfast at Tiffany's-- the one where Holly is leaving for Brazil, and she says to Paul, "I love New York. Someday, I'll be back, me and my nine Brazilian brats..." And Paul asks her why she's leaving. It was the first time I had been in New York since I'd moved. The carpet store next to my building was out of business, and supposedly a gourmet grocery store is going in there. Hah. Wish I were still there to reap the benefits of that!

I really miss my New York friends. I don't miss the partying or the booze or the pretentious jackasses but I practically bawled when I had to leave Colin, and we were hanging with two of his friends at the time and I'm not sure what they thought about it.

Then I went home, and my mother fed me repeatedly. She always stuffs me so full that by the time I leave, I don't think I can look at another piece of food.

Yesterday we went shopping. My mother special-ordered me a new pair of shoes and bought me a new raincoat.

My mom also informed me that I get incredibly mopey every year around this time. I remember doing it last year and my senior year of high school, but not any times in between those, but she says it's been every year since middle school. So now I'm seriously thinking about that and wondering whether it's worth trying to live in a warmer, sunnier climate for a winter to see if that helps.

On the way out of the car at the train station, my mother gave me $60 and told me I needed a haircut. Thanks, Mommy! I know I look sort of shaggy but I didn't realize it was that noticeable.

My mom has February break in a week and she said she'd take me somewhere for a couple of days. On one hand, I'd like to, but on the other, I hate being away from the 'net for days at a time. It always makes me feel like I'm neglecting shit in the game, even this weekend I felt bad not being on during the day. I have to see if I can figure out a place I could go that isn't too far a drive from here and where I can get online. Also, this would mean getting Kitty back, which would be very welcome indeed.
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