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Another Chapter in The Life of My Father
cap, captain miss america
So my father is having a deep and serious personal crisis, which is unrelated to the Snape stickers.

It went like this:

Daddy: (to me and my mother) I have a problem. And I wanted you guys' advice because it's something I've never experienced but I'm sure both of you have experienced it many times.

Tea: Did you get your period?

Daddy: Oh no, I'm already a woman. Ask your mother.

Mommy: Well, you sure act raggy.

Tea: So what's the problem?

Daddy: Well, next week, the movie of Hannibal Rising comes out, and I think this is the first time in my life that I'm going to see a movie after reading the book.

Tea: What about The Da Vinci Code?

Daddy: Did you buy me the DVD for Christmas? Because I still haven't seen it.

Tea: Yes, it's under the shirts you still haven't worn. So what's the problem?

Daddy: Well, I read the book, and you know how when you read a book, your imagination fills things in so you have a very specific idea of how to picture them?

Tea & Mommy: Ye-es?

Daddy: I am pretty sure that the movie is going to be different from how I imagined the book while I was reading it. How do you...you know, deal with that?

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That's so random. Your dad sounds like quite the character.

I tend to stomp around being sullen about how the movie TOTALLY RUINED THE BOOK OMG.

But I am watching Hannibal Rising if it kills me. I want sexy!Hannibal dammit.

The conversation went on much longer and mostly involved my father admitting he'd never read a lot of books.

Which we already knew.

I read too much. I'll probably get wrinkles or some such. I think I heard that somewhere. But I love my imagination. Damn, what a conundrum.

I have to be fight zombies now.

Reading gives you brain wrinkles.

You write angry posts about it in your blog. Obviously.

Your dad and my dad would probably really get along famously.

Oooh maybe we should set them up on a blind date.

Your mum and dad are both awesome.

Yes, my mother is awesome, too. She's just not as haplessly hilarious as my father.

Hahaha, that is so awesome, and he sounds almost really sad about the entire idea. (I'd say best dad ever, but seriously my dad is, so there.)

He was sad! He was talking about how he was worried that they wouldn't be able to properly portray the series of events that explain Hannibal's lust for human flesh!

Proof positive that your dad is, indeed, awesome.

BWAH, your dad sounds awesomely hilarious :)

I. Want. Your. Father. Right. Now.



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