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Project Audrey, part four
audrey, palms


Dude, check out the hair.

It is not quite Audrey Horne, but it is way closer than my usual hair is. Hers is still more wavy-- and there is the fact that her hair is probably a good six inches shorter than mine at its longest in the series.

So here are the curls when I first pulled them out of the curlers. I totally look like Shirley Temple. Anyway, the curlers seem to have been way more effective at, well, doing something to my hair than the iron/blow dry combo was. Is it the right thing? Not sure!

SCORE. So, I pulled the curls apart a bit and tried to see what would happen. While It's not quite Audrey Horne, it's definitely 1950s ish (never mind that Twin Peaks takes place in the 90s, the girls all dress in 50s-style clothes), and I think the majority of the problem is that I, well, have way longer hair than she does.

Still playing. I did the classic Audrey makeup (red red lipstick, dark eyeliner, silvery eyeshadow) and put on my pearls. And got dressed for work. I also put another coat of hairspray over the whole thing. I did discover that I don't have any mascara! Mascara will have to be purchased tonight!

Okay, now I just feel like a total camwhore, but like I said the other day, pics of me never come out looking very good, and this morning I got a HUGE number of fabulously amazing photos. So I am posting them all.

Look how cute!

This almost looks like it could work more as Donna Hayward hair more than Audrey Horne hair. Either way, I'm definitely in the right ballpark.

Just more pics.

And here are my badass sunglasses that I bought at H&M for $6.50. Also for the party.

I do like making silly faces.


I have to say, the fact that this method a) took a lot less time despite it being the old-fashioned way and b)cost a lot less money means I really should have tried it to start instead of futzing around with all those curling irons.

And now, for your listening pleasure:

Poll #970292 Project Audrey Poll

Do you think this looks good enough?

No, it's still too curly!
No, it's too long!
No, it's too big/too fuzzy/not the right kind of curls
Why are you going to all this trouble to get the curls right and not even dyeing it black?
I have no idea, and I'm too lazy to Google a picture of Audrey Horne
Dude, you are completely out of your mind putting this much effort into what you're going to wear to watch a tv show and eat pie.

Should Tea keep working on it?

Yes, she should try shaping the curls more
Yes, she should try bigger curlers
Yes, she should lop off 4 inches of her hair to get it to look closer to the real thing
Yes, she should dye it black
Yes, something else I will tell her to do in the comments
No, she's already wasted too much time/money on this
No, it looks absolutely perfect as is
The French Enlightenment.
Cheez Planx.
I totally ticked two tickies that contradict each other.

If anyone has more suggestions, etc., PLEASE feel free to chime in! Thank you guys all so much for all the help; I never knew there was this much to know about hair. I feel like such a girl now!

I am so jealous of your hair right now.

And you should wear your makeup like that all the time.

Hahaha I never wear makeup. I'm such a boy.

Only with boobies.

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Ahh thanks! ninepointfivemm and I were having a talk about old-school starlet-style red lipstick the other night and about how even in bright reds, there are certain ones that look good on certain people. I figured out that I need one that's slightly orangey for it to look right! Otherwise it makes my skin look blue!

The lipstick is a NYX lipstick pencil; I don't know if you have those there but I had never tried them before and I really like the texture.

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It looks pretty darn gorgeous!

Gee, thanks. Haven't you, like, seen me in my underwear?

Wow, that's so cool XD Well done you!

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Haha, I don't have any way to a) find a stylist who knows anything about curly hair and b) make an appointment between now and Sunday afternoon. I was just going to hack it off myself or just get someone to trim it up Saturday morning.

This is when you can tell I never do this weird girly stuff.

That came out amazingly. I say it's good enough for the party, totally- even if you aren't a carbon copy you are rockin the style. You might try wonking hugeass curlers and see if they get you the wave thing- those were really too small to get what she'd got going on. It's funny how the old way is still the best, isn't it? Also: no wigs! This already totally looks more awesome than a wig would.

(When it comes to hair and makeup, I'm almost as much of a boy as you. Except for the requirement to be purple.)

Yeah, I wanted to do it with my own hair because then it's like holy shit, that's your real hair! Which is awesome!

Yeah, I'm going to go back and see if I can get slightly bigger curlers. I had big ones in at first, but they were a different brand and didn't seem to stay in as well as the ones I ended up using. But it was funny that the curlers completely worked after all the hi tech stuff didn't. It didn't even take as long as the hi-tech way!

And good, if it has your approval I think it's acceptable. I don't know how many other people on my list have actually seen the show. I told Colin I'm completely insane; he guessed I was coming as Coop. Hahaha. :-D I thought I'd told him I was doing Audrey though.

I think...wait...Audrey HORNE? All this time I thought you were trying for Audrey Hepburn. Fuck me in the goat ass.

I think you look gorgeous and I can't believe the difference the rollers made. Your face is stunning, and the lipstick is fabulous on you.

OH HAHAHA NO. For a Twin Peaks party! I've done Audrey Hepburn before; that's where the pearls are from and I actually have her dress and an acceptable match for the red coat from Breakfast at Tiffany's. I adore Audrey Hepburn, but she is much easier to mimic; a good french twist can do it.

Your hair looks even more amazing.
You should do your hair that more often!

P.S. Don't dye your hair! It's such a lovely colour!!!

Haha, thanks, I'm not dying it! Don't worry! And I totally intend to. It really wasn't that bad. It was easier than the straightening was!

I don't really know the character in question, but YOU ARE HOT!

Awww, thanks. <3 I really, really like the way these pics came out.

I'm very impressed by the amount of effort you put into this! I'm awful at dress-up parties and always end up making last minute costumes. You look awesome!

Also, I tried on those sunglasses today in H&M :D

I am such a costume fiend. This isn't even technically a costume party. The only reason Colin told people to wear costumes was because I informed him I was dressing up. And I do try to get close if not perfect. I like to think of it as dorkishness.

And these sunglasses rock! You should get them, then we can be twins on Reclamation Day!

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Oh dear. By young McG, are we talking about a certain Hogwarts professor? Hahaha do you envision her totally doing the starlet thing? That's hilarious.

I think your curls are daaaaahling, and I think that the tight curls definitely give it the look of being short, so it works perfectly. It would be saucy to try it with a big ol' fat curling iron, but it would probably turn out waaaay too long.
Also, where is mole!?!?!

I actually pulled the curls out now that I'm home and they are all loose and soft and wavy and very 1940s.