Someone is totally the most awesome ever.
Augh, there's like a zillion things I keep meaning to update about and then just...not bothering. Real update soon!
In the meantime, for those of you who aren't sick of Harry Potter (& those of you who are), this DOES NOT IN ANY WAY SPOIL DH as I wrote it before DH came out. For a hogwarts_elite contest.
Dear Mr. Rowling,
Howdy! I am a big fan of your book series, about Harry Potter. I really like Harry Potter because of all the good American values in it. I think we need more books about good Americans. I am proud to have such strong American writers in our country who do such good work teaching good strong morals to our American youth.
However, Sir, on a sad note, I have to say I was not a big fan of your last book, Harry Potter and the Deathly Gallows. I picked it up thinking I was going to read a book about the importance of the capital punishment system and why it is real important to execute hardened criminals. Instead, there were no gallows at all.
Also, your book was very hard to read and had a lot of big words I didn’t understand. It was real hard. You say this is a book for kids but I am a grown adult man and I couldn’t read most of it. I had to have my good friend Dick read it to me.
I can also send you the new requirement for the No Child Left Behind assessments. This way you will be able to write your books to the right grade level instead of making them too hard for kids. Some kids in America are Mexicans and they can't read good in American. So you need to make the words easier for the Mexicans.
I was a little confused by all the boys wearing jumpers. Don’t you know jumpers are for girls? They have little skirts and buttons on them. I don’t think we should be promoting homo-sexual activities among our youth by letting them wear girls’ clothes because it is a real challenge to good Christian morals. God told me this hisself. If we let boys wear jumpers, what comes next? Tutus? Pumps? Brassieres? This would be bad. One time my brother Jeb wore a pink shirt, and the next thing I knew he was drinking wine spritzers. Lucky we whupped that out of him, isn’t it?
Anyway, I really hope you write more books with smaller words in them next time. I think your books are real good even if they are real long. Sometimes good things come in small packages, my daddy always says. So I think if you made your book shorter and put in more pictures, it would be better.
George (The President of America)