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Halloween, Days 2 & 3: A Series of Unfortunate Cleavage.
somethingdreadful
teaberryblue





Day 3 of Voodoo Fest, we went in corsets and skirts and no specific costume! Which meant that I ended up getting called the Boobie Fairy and Jess was the Milkmaid.






Milkmaid.

Boobie Fairy!

Jess pointed out to me that she had supported Senator Derek Shepard strictly based on the McDreaminess of his name. She is very disappointed that he is not at all McDreamy. However, we did notice that there was a candidate "Gray" running for election in Louisiana.

There were really big horsies. I mean, REALLY BIG.

Pretty much the first thing we did when we got there was to go check out the New Orleans Bingo Show, which was absolutely phenomenal. Seriously. They're the ones in the video down below.

Jess rocks out at the New Orleans Bingo Show.

We get our Bingo Cards!

I getted two! Really, Jess getted two, but I am sneaky!

One of my cards has FOUR of the six Numbers from LOST...4, 8, 16, 23. Despite this, I did not win! However, fortunately, this means nothing was hit by a meteorite.

The Bingo Show performs!

More Bingo Show!

More Bingo Show!

MY BOOBIES HAS A PURPOSE.

Then we went to the Black Crowes!

I danced a lot!

This is me rocking out later that night at Wilco! Wilco were adorable-- they helped some guy propose to his girlfriend and put up a bigass picture of her on the screen.






I would urge you all to read no further, or to perhaps go back and read the bit about the Boobie Fairy again, as it is much nicer and cheerier than the latter part of this post.



Dear reader, I regret to inform you that today was a far more miserable day than yesterday. While you may wonder what was so miserable about it, let me just tell you that the misery does not compare to the misery of watching the love of your life as she plummets to her death over a balcony, nor does it compare to the misery of running from the law to escape trial for arson one did not commit, but it comes close.

To start off, we saw this miserable sign. I wondered if perhaps we were being warned against potential befoulment, a word which here means "poisoning."

Fortunately, we came upon some benches made of green wood. Someone in the neigborhood had clearly left a sign for Volunteers.

We lefts the comfort and safety of our green benches to venture to a haven of Vastly Filling Dairy, also known as a Cheese Shop.

We pondered the paintings of cheese and the missing painting of cheese.

My cohort drank her Very Fizzy Drink with a straw.

While I sat beside her and pondered the sorrow of my existence without my one true love.

After our expedition to the Cheese Shop, we ventured to a Village Film Distributor, where we sampled a terrible film about dead people, disappearing people, and exploding people. I suggest seeing something else instead.

The cinema was in tragic disrepair. Disrepair is a word which here means "partially burned down." I considered whether the damage may have been caused by arson.

My co-conspirator sampled the popcorn, but I was suspicious of poisoning.

My tattoo.

When seeing another man with a single eyebrow and a similar tattoo, I did what any sane person would do and screamed, and ran away.

At which point I went to the bus and examined the evacuation routes for the city of New Orleans.

My fellow Volunteer pointed out her evacuation route with Very Fastidious Determination. Fastidious is a word which here means "a meticulous, sensitive, or demanding attitude, not at all like certain men who would like to kill us in a very un-fastidious manner."

I inspected the ankles of the other passengers. As well as my own. In a surprisingly fortunate turn of events, I discovered that my own tattoo was still intact, and that no one else on the bus had a tattooed ankle.

My companion appears horrified at the possibility of burning alive on a bus.

The lady with the hat demonstrates the importance of Various Finery Disguises.

Notice how, with the removal of her hat, she in now impossible to identify as the same woman seen in the figure above.

At this point, with our enemies in hot pursuit, we hopped aboard a trolley.

I considered the pain and agony of my current existence and, for a bried moment, mused over the possibility of decapitating myself and throwing my head out the window of the speeding vehicle.

Sadly, I was then alerted to this sign.

My companion spies Count Olaf once again and we are forced to flee.

I stopped by a graveyard, thinking how similar it was to the final resting place of my beloved.

Who looks eerily like my cohort when the image is blurry and out of focus.

Finally, we disappeared into a seasonal Haunted House exhibit called "The Mortuary" for the purposes of escaping from our pursuers. After all, the frightening scenes within could certainly not compare to the sepulchral (a word which here means "like a tomb") and dismal nature of our current existence.

The end. Much like the ultimate end to us all, which, in turn, is much like my fair former-betrothed.





Finally, I must needs promote this excellent video from the guys of the New Orleans Bingo Show, who asked their audience to please send it around. These guys were amazing! Take a look!


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For some reason, I was actually shocked by the skull at the end. I wasn't expecting it.

http://pics.livejournal.com/zia_narratora/pic/000tkabq/s320x240
JESUS CHRIST, WOMAN!

All the boys say
Hey boobie, hey boobie, hey
Girls say, girls say
Hey boobie, hey boobie, hey
Hey boobie, boobie
Hey boobiey, hey boobie, hey
Boys say, boys say
Hey boobie, hey boobie, hey
All the boys get the girls in the
Back

THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT THEY WERE SAYING. PEOPLE KEPT COMING UP TO ME AND TALKING TO MY BOOBIES INSTEAD OF TO ME.

Let's face it. You have two boobies but one face. Do the math.

*adores teh boobies*

MY FACE IS PRETTIER AND IT IS WHERE THE TALKING COMES FROM.

AHAHA. boobies and suspiciously terrible ankle tattoos! what could be better!

I can think of a lot of things that could be better. Stories about happy little elves, for example.

you are clearly my hero, and not just for the boobies but they help. *huggles Lemony and Beatrice*

Being Lemony for a day is very exciting! It makes you much more concerned about flammability.

You is are having so many cleavages. o_o

Please keeps them inside a car at all time.

Only one cleavage! And I is keeping them inside my shirt, no worries!

So. Much. Boobies. You look fabulous.

I totally feel you on the Conversations with Boobies.

Yeah, you two will totally have to dress as Harley and Ivy for Mardi Gras. Like you said... you have the corset!

Exactly! That, with little green shorts? Would be awesome! And Jess has the same one you do!

The sad thing is, my boobies don't say anything back.

Those are definitely boobs with personality!

You both look gorgeous, and so much fun is evidently being had!

Thank you! Maybe I should give them names? Then I can introduce them when people stare!

Nice costumes, and... (I have to say it) nice b00bz ;D

Mine aren't as glamourous as yours, but I still gave 'em names. Really cool names, actually - after active volcanoes. The left one is Vesuvius, and the right one Ruapehu, in honour of Mount Doom.

Oooh! Do they shoot lava?

YOUR CLEAVAGE CAN STORE THINGS. I put something in there and it falls right out again. Onto the floor.

... we could do a double act! With boobies/lack thereof. *facepalm*

Gosh, this looks like a lot of fun, though. Corsets!

Looks like a good time was had by all. I live about an hour from New Orleans. I teach at Louisiana State University--one of my students skipped class to get to Voodoo Fest early. Wish I could have done that!

Did you guys have as much fun as it seems? Did you ever go to New Orleans Pre-Katrina? It was a lot different.

You looked great, by the way!

Yeah, I'd been here before Katrina and apart from the transit being slower and less accessible, I didn't really see much difference. The reason people aren't coming here is because they keep hearing it's different and think the city's still devastated and it's still quite vital-- much moreso than the media is leading anyone to believe. All my favorite shops and restaurants are still around!

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