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Before I go to Maine
cap, captain miss america
teaberryblue
This morning, I got to go see the house my parents are buying.

It is incredible. I mean, you talk dreamhouse...this place is one of the most incredible houses I have ever seen in my life, and it is going to belong to my parents.

My room in their house is going to have a hayloft in it. Their room will too. Now, I'm naturally not intending on living there for a lot of time, but once in a while I will have the most incredible room in the world.

I am really, really happy for them. This has been three years coming.

I took a whole bunch of pictures, but I forgot to pull them off the camera before I left my mom's, so, shoot.

Then, I came back into the city. On the train, the girl behind me was having THE MOST CONTROL-FREAKY STALKER CONVERSATION EVER.

Apparently, she decided to go through her boyfriend's text messages because he WAS ALONE AT A PARTY WITHOUT HER FOR THREE HOURS. And she found one that said "Was I a bad girl last night?" from a number that wasn't stored in his phone. SO SHE SEARCHED ALL THE DOCS ON HIS PHONE and found the number in a separate 'notes' file with his sister's phone number and his ex wife's phone number.

Don't you love how much I know about this girl's love life? YEAH.

SO

Then she called the number and a girl picked up and she demanded the girl tell her who she was and the girl got upset and hung up.

AND SHE DECIDED THIS WAS PROOF THAT HER BOYFRIEND WAS HAVING AN AFFAIR.

So then then then she confronted her boyfriend ABOUT HIS AFFAIR without telling him HOW SHE KNEW. And FOR SOME REASON he accused her of being crazy and imagining things and FOR SOME REASON now he's not speaking to her.

And so she's saying to her friend, on the phone, how this is proof, right? This is proof he's cheating! And now she's going to go to the bar that the party was at and ask the bartender if he saw her boyfriend with any other girls before she got there.

Seriously.

So this other girl sat down next to me toward the end of the story, when I just totally about to burst with the psychoness of it all. So I wrote on the back of my ticket receipt "The woman behind us is having the most control-freaky stalker conversation ever." and handed it to her. And she cracked up. And then we made faces at each other for the rest of the call.

Which sadly, wasn't very long.

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WOW.

That's why you should never leave your cell phone around.

That's why you should never date psychos that think text messages that potentially contain a dirty joke mean you might be having an affair.

Well, you're not always certain someone is that a psycho who reads your text messages for innuendo until they actually do. So in that case, maybe you are better off leaving it around, just to weed them out.

This is an excellent point! I will start planting porny text messages to assist my friends in this capacity.

This entry is made of win!! unfortunately, that girl is made of TOTAL FAIL.

I seriously don't understand when people babble their whole personal life on the train. What if I were THE OTHER WOMAN?

INSTA-BRAWL!

the most awkward train experience I've had is this one time when I was riding into town, the guy next to me was reading comics, and that was terribly normal until I glanced at the page and realized it was hardcore porno manga. It was soooooooooo ick. >.>;

Who the fuck reads that on the train? What if you ran into, like, your boss? Or your priest?

Or anyone with a sense of decency? I don't know! He had a book cover over the front but jesus, I definitely didn't need to know he was so engrossed in THAT. D:

You should see the stuff people read right in the bookstore. They won't even buy it most of the time, they'll just sit around in the store and read it (or ogle it o.O) in front of everyone.

I love listening to other people's conversations xD This happens a lot when I'm walking from class to class.

Once I heard a guy, who apparently worked as a security guard at the student store, that he watched via the cameras a hobo came in and start hiding a bunch of items in his jacket, including a copy of a magazine that is "basically softcore gay porn" and then the shoplifter-to-be went into the restrooms xD "I guess he was going to, uh, make good use of the magazine" says the guy to the person he was talking to. He then had to go into the restroom and ask the guy to leave. AWKWARD.

Anyway, congrats to your parents!

Hahaha I know people who've worked in newsstands and had people 'borrow' porn. But yeah. This one was too hilarious not to share. I'm a horrible person, but she was talking pretty loudly. I couldn't help it.

Dude, what? She shared her freaking entire life situation with everyone on that bus. It's like posting a naked picture on myspace and then getting upset that people see it. You deserve the fun of sharing the story for having the endure being subjected to her conversation. I personally have when people start talking on their phone in enclosed public spaces (especially if it's otherwise quiet).

I don't mind people talking on phones if it's somewhere appropriate to have a non-phone conversation. You know what pisses me off, though? Is when you get in the car with someone, and there are just two of you, and the other person spends the whole time on the phone,because there is nothing else to do but listen to them and you don't have a choice.

Haha actually, the year I commuted with an older cousin I cherished the times she talked on the phone because then I didn't have to hurt my brain trying to think of conversation topics.

You know what pisses me off, though? Is when you get in the car with someone, and there are just two of you, and the other person spends the whole time on the phone,because there is nothing else to do but listen to them and you don't have a choice.

Arrgh...my mother does that. Like, from the moment I arrive home. She picks me up at the airport, we all get in the car, and then she immediately whips out the phone to call people and tell them that she just picked me up from the airport.

My mother does this too! Only it's less topical. It's like, "hi, honey! Oh, excuse me, now would be a great time to check in on my best friend from high school who hasn't been in touch in months!"

On the bus to Montreal (full of American under-21's going to Canada get drunk) some girl at the front was talking extremely loudly to the stranger sitting next to her, telling him all about every boy she'd ever dated, including the current one. Excruciating detail about how they met, how drunk the two of them had gotten at various parties, and so on. Your story is even better. I don't understand these people.

I totally once heard a bullshit artist on a date try to impress a girl by describing all the different varieties of lobster he knew about. And it was all made up. Hilarious.

Hmm. She could be one of those really obsessive cops.
Ooo a dreamhouse! I can't wait for the pictures ;D

Oh, I've always wanted a hayloft in my room. That sounds lovely. Pics soon, please!

Also, zomg, that girl needs to have her brain reevaluated. Alas, but I know people like that who would totally say, "THAT IS PROOF. HE IS CHEATING ON YOU. AND ME, EVEN THOUGH WE ARE NOT EVEN DATING."

YES for over hearding crazy conversations!

Sometimes people have really weird phone conversations while I ring them out at work. Although usually it's like, "What? I can't hear you, I'm at Borders and this girl is trying to talk to me, UGH." *headdesk*

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