
There's John...

And Cindy...

And they live happily in one of their seven (they think) palatial estates.


John spends his days fielding questions from constituents about oil prices:


And fending off Larry Craig in the pool:

While Jill does the yard work:

And manages public relations:

...But who are these kids sucking face at the door?

They're so preoccupied they don't even notice Ann Coulter in a skanky dress.

Oh, look! It's Barack...

And Michelle!

The Obamas immediately make themselves at home, gettin' frisky in the hot tub:

Using the Egyptian cotton linens to have a pillow fight:

Raiding the Fridge:

And eating the McCain's leftover creme brulee while they talk about classical music.

If that weren't enough, they went and invited their friends to come crash the party:
That's Joe...

And Jill...

Joe won't shut up about how his wife is a doctor...

Or about how she teaches Community College

Generally, Joe just won't shut up

Even his wife gets a headache from listening and retreats to the hot tub.

But wait! There's a place where Joe can talk all day long! That's right, kids! THE INTERNET.
Joe talks about how he dislikes airplanes:

And the Middle East

And pollution.

Joe, is there anything you do like?

Aha! Foreign policy!
Up next in chapter 2: Here comes Alaska, there goes the neighborhood:
