Let's talk about my birthday!
Last year, I had the mega mega party with everyone I know, which was faboo, so this year I decided to do the opposite. So liret and I are going down to Philly and staying in a fancy hotel on the water and eating all the ice cream in the city. And possibly all the chocolate, too. It will be incredibly indulgent and I will love every minute of it.
ALSO liret IS BACK TODAY. With all her moose-skinning and moose-butchering stories! I am excited for her.
I also had this dream last night. I don't remember as much of it as I usually do when I write about them here but it was about this movie starring Leonardo DiCaprio as this immortal, villainous con man. And I say villainous because I want to express that this is nothing like Catch Me If You Can. This is like, leading ranchers down a ravine to their death during westward expansion and exposing runaway slaves just before the Civil War and starting religious wars and all kinds of shit. It turned out that he had been completely hijacking history pretty much since the beginning of time by slowly altering architectural details, or, in one case, leaving letters that suggested that some famous painting was actually a forgery, and ones that suggested that Shakespeare didn't write his plays. The best part was this invisible secret society that didn't actually exist that he had created hundreds of years ago and carefully worked their symbols into all kinds of famous art and architecture and shit all over the world. They're called the Order of the Deuce and are represented by the roman numerals, II, and two roses intertwined.
There is this one part in the movie in, like, the 1890s where this man catches on that something is up with him because he finds a much earlier daguerrotype of the dude and he hasn't aged. This is after Leonardo DiCaprio's character pretty much drives the man's wife to suicide, and the guy streaks the photo with blood and writes, "There are not no sinners who will not get their due" on it.
But the dude keeps being an immortal asshole until the 1950s, when this guy named Dwayne shows up. Dwayne is a nerdy, pale, scrawny looking guy who wasn't played by anyone in particular. Dwayne was also one of the cattle ranchers Leo's character thought he'd killed like forty years ago.
Because Dwayne is also immortal. This has been puzzling together the clues that link the fake Order of the Deuce and it somehow leads her to Dwayne, who she then leads back to Leo's character...because of course Dwayne didn't realize the dickhead was immortal, too.
Then there is this kickass drag race between the two immortals because Dwayne? Has a fucking sweet car. And he pretty much leads Leo's character to drive his car into the same ravine and shit and it is all poetic and the car blows up in flames.
Except then of course the movie ends with Leo's character all crispy at the bottom of the cliff-- and still alive.