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cap, captain miss america
teaberryblue
so yesterday when i got home from work i discovered that somewhere along the way, a huge chunk of charming had disappeared-- maybe i had never saved it, maybe something else happened to it...i dunno...so i spent most of last night rewriting the section of charming that died. so i only wrote like one sentence of fredje, and i added a few details earlier on which are important to the story and which i realized i had forgotten about.

i want to find a writing program or something where i can study, but i guess what i really want is a thesis program, none of that damn writer's workshop stuff. workshopping writing with a bunch of people who want to tell you how to make your writing more like theirs is not what i want-- i want, like, some kind of advisor or mentor who can tell me how to make my writing better while making it what i want it to be. i totally understand things liek shorter, longer, slower, faster, but things like "you need to explain why this character is the way s/he is" drive me nuts. i only explain why characters are the way they are if they're the sort of character who is a certain way for a special reason, or if they are the sort of character who likes to make excuses for why s/he is that way. ay. i want to be really worked, challenged, on my writing, but i want to be writing what i want to be writing and not somebody else's assignments or exercises. that's never the way to finish a book. the other problem is i need to work someone who will respect the fact that i want to write teen fantasy and not heartwrenching novels about gritty real life growing up poor and abused on the mississip or whatever. i don't WANT to write what i know; i never understood that adage. i don't want to read what i already know; i want to read things that needed to be imagined.

ARGH!!!!!

back to work for tea.