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Men Invade Space
cap, captain miss america

This happens a lot, but most specifically it happened to me on the train last Friday whilst going up to see my parents. It was especially annoying because this guy sat down next to me in one of those “family” seats where they are facing both ways, so I moved across and opposite from him so that we would both have legroom AND armroom– and he proceeded to lounge over the entire three seats of the now-free row he had, effectively cutting off my ability to stretch my legs. MEN INVADE SPACE

Panel 1:
(Tea and a random Man and Woman are sitting in a row.  Man is sitting with his legs and arms well into Tea's and Woman's space)
Tea: What is wrong with this picture?
Man: Ho-de-hum!
Woman: You are pushing me out of the frame.

Panel 2:
(Bus, Train, Plane)

Panel 3:
(Tea and Larry Craig in a public restroom.  Larry's leg is sticking into Tea's stall)
Tea: US Senators even do it in public restrooms!

Panel 4:
Tea: Seriously, guys, what is up with this?  I have seen a lot of wee-wees.  They do not need all of that space! For real, take a look in the mirror.



Mirrored from Antagonia.net.

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I have, too, on occasion. This one particular guy was across the aisle from me so I would have had to really obviously deliberately kick him. :-(

I once gave a guy on a plane a dressing-down about it. I was like, dude, I did not pay $200 to have your elbow in my boob.


This is when I use my fat to my advantage.

On plans, no one wants to sit next to The Fat Person, but I really do keep my rolls in check... until a dude starts moving his leg onto MY side, then I'm like, fine, fuck you, and relax, and don't care if my fat spills over to cover a bit of the arm rest. So take that, men!

Do you think I could do this with my hair?

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I think pushing back is like the only thing that works when it is middle aged men who pretend to be engrossed in their newspapers.

This never happens to me because I have purple and blue hair, am hard of hearing (so my iPod is loud as shit), and have piercings and tattoos. No one wants to sit next to me. Plus, I give them my evil stare-down. But when it does happen to me, I push back. Hard.

Dudes do this to me at work! If I'm looking up something for them at one of the computer terminals around the store (not the info desk one, since they're not allowed behind the counter), they will stand riiiiight next to/behind me, trying to read over my shoulder. Women do it to, but it's mostly men. I'm always like, dude, you're in my bubble. I have yet to find a way to tell them to back off politely. :\

Agh! That doesn't happen to me so much. I hate when people look over my shoulder at my work.

UGH YES!!! This drives me crazy on the subway!

It's societal; it's considered manly to take up as much space as you want, like any seat you're sitting in is your personal throne...while girls are still taught that the only proper way to sit is with ankles or knees crossed as to take up as little space as possible. And as long as we women continue to not say anything to these assholes taking up our space, they'll keep doing it. /feminist theory

I think it's more that it's considered manly to show off your balls. Since this usually involves the very wide leg-splay. Other than that, I am right with you!

I think though that it is one of those things that bears mentioning when you are not "in the moment" though because it will ideally remind men to think about it when they are in those places, as opposed to risking a situation where you deal with someone really confrontational. I am okay with being confrontational right back but a lot of women are understandably uncomfortable.

Yes, yes, all of this, yes. Because I am sick of going to class and getting approximately 10 inches of table space because the older male doc student thinks he deserves to spread himself and all his shit across the rest of it. And he skeeves me out too much for me to push back.

Get to class early and do it before he gets a chance to!

You should be me. That guy wanted to sit next to the drunks and not me. Problem solved.

YES OMG YES. I don't know what the fuck was up with that dude. BUT HERE HAVE A GIANT BEER STEIN.

lmao "you're pushing me out of the frame."

ARGH I KNOW. I GET SO MAD! The other day I was in one of the 3-seaters that they have on the R and F and D trains and wide-leg-ball-asshole guy was sitting on the other side, and then ANOTHER wide-leg-ball-asshole guy sat next to him and ALSO spread his legs. Sometimes I shove or otherwise attempt to create shame, but I guess I'm not aggressive enough about it, I don't get a good reaction. I don't know if it's because I don't know what's going on with the balls thing or if I just find knees more intractable. But that day I tried to shift around and claim my space, and then eventually I just got fed up, slammed my book shut, slammed it against my hand really loudly (it was a super-quiet moment on the train) and then just stood up, grabbed the pole, and glared at both of them the rest of the trip.

You have expressed my rage! Maybe I will print this out and leave it places! There are always guys all around them that are sitting like completely normal human beings, too. I do not believe that their balls are just that big.

Augh! I have been stuck between two of them on morning commutes a few times. So glad I don't do that anymore.

And I secretly think that these are actually the guys with really small penises.

We don't have any public transportation down here, but I do know this is a guy's passive-aggressive way of saying, "I need my space." They hope that by expanding out their elbows and knees, they have effectively claimed control of that area and now, if they do happen to sit more relaxed and less expanded, there's this bubble that they have created.

It's annoying I know, but nothing tries to put more space between other human beings and himself than the American guy.

Ehh, I don't think we're talking about the same thing, because this is not a question of trying to keep other people away. This is a question of deliberately invading women's space. You probably don't experience it because you are a dude and guys don't do it to other guys.

Haha yeah, that has happened to me once, I think I told you about that one time? When I was convinced that the guy was flirting with me... I never really thought that this might be a problem for most girls, since... well, 6'3" metalhead doesn't tend to be the kind of person people sit next to and I'm not above shoving back, and is usually stronger than they...

Makes me wonder if things would be different on the bus now, but these days I never go alone since Aleph is here. I am looking a lot girlier than I used to after all...

Fun fact: When I was working to build my new shiny confident persona in my teenage years, the first and most important thing was to steal the male body language, especially the way they are sitting with their legs. So I am a confident don't mess with me sprawler myself that takes up a lot of room... *blushes* To be fair, in normal seating I cannot sit with my legs together, because my height is mostly legs, and they just don't fit in the space between the seats. Seriously. If there's room, me and Aleph generally takes different seats since he has massive shoulders to add to this..

Oh I am not talking about guys rubbing up against women! That is a completely different phenomenon! This isn't really sexual so much as dominating-- it's shoving body parts into your space in an attempt to make you shrink your personal space. And yeah, adopting a masculine posture can go a long way to eliminating that.

I don't think it's the same as truly being a large person and needing more space than a little seat gives you-- bigger people tend to be more self-conscious of their space and try to compensate for it. But when a 5'7" dude is taking up his seat and half your seat it's like, wtf.

See, that's one bit of the masculine identity I really don't get. Being a big dude to begin with (less so now, but I'll never be tiny), a body tries to be aware of how much space you take up.

Poeple are jerks, man.

This is so true!! I usually strike preemptively by taking up as much space as I can so nobody wants to sit next to me. However I do shove back. Booo for insecure men with something to prove and big-ass ballsy ones who are unaware of their own lack of awesomeness.

Yeah, if I'm not on such a crowded train, I do this. But sadly commuter rail to my parents' house is usually packed like sardines. And male sardines apparently have huge imaginary balls.

Sometimes I shove my leg into theirs, but then when they don't move it, I feel really uncomfortable like they are enjoying having their leg rubbing up against mine and getting off on it, so that squicks me a lot.

I also usually put my bag on the floor between my feet, so when I am lowering it, I bring it down on the side of the offending man's legs (rather than directly between mine). I'll make sure I intentionally hit my bag against their knee, and sometimes that makes them move their leg away from me.