PLEASE NOTE I AM 45 MINUTES BEHIND SO PLEASE DO NOT POST THINGS FROM LATER.
1) This is pretty much exactly how I was expecting the season to start!
2) Awww Bernard made it out of the bathroom.
4) I can't tell if Jack doesn't remember or is playing along? I'm leaning toward "doesn't remember."
5) Why are they replaying the same scene they already replayed?! This is the third time tonight I've seen this seen if you include the preview special. GUYS IT IS THE LAST SEASON. I WOULD LIKE TO SEE SOME MORE TV--WHAT THE FUCK KATE IS IN A TREE.
6) AND DEAF?
7)I GUESS YOU'RE NOT IN KANSAS 1977, NO, MYLES.
8) YES SPLIT CONTINUUM.
9) YES SAWYER PLEASE JUST KILL HIM NOW FOR KILLING MY FAVORITE CHARACTER YES.
10) OMG HURLEY IS A CELEBRITY. AND HE LIKES CHICKEN.
11) ALT WORLD HURLEY YOU ARE THE CUTEST.
12) EXCEPT FOR EARTH-1 HURLEY.
13) YES JULIET I LOVE YOU. THANK YOU FOR NOT KILLING MY FAVORITE CHARACTER, ISLAND. AT LEAST YOU HAD BETTER NOT.
14) BUT ISLAND, YOU BASTARD, DON'T KILL SAYID.
15) HI JACOB.
17) Hello Locke, you shout out to Sully!
18) Aw and Boone is Locke's protege again!
19) Whee evil!Locke. I hope by the end of the season Locke and evil!Locke go mano a mano.
20)Ben was way cooler when he was the evil devious one. He's like, hey how did someone else get more evil and devious than me?
21) WTF DID EVERYONE JUST FORGET SAYID?
22) Dude, Hurley's magic dead-speaking powers are turning out to be useful!
23) "Who are you, dude?" "I'm Mr. Deus Ex Machina!"
24) ...And Charlie is ODing.
25) Good job, stupid!old!addict!Charlie. Now I remember why I used to hate you so much.
26) I love how Sawyer and Juliet are the only functional couple on the show besides Rose and Bernard.
27) YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT HAPPENED, RICHARD? I AM A DUMBASS, IS WHAT HAPPENED.
28) "Where's Richard?"
"He's not coming. But I brought you a ham."
30) OH FUCK YOU ISLAND. THE FUCKING TEMPLE BETTER SAVE HER TOO. EVEN THOUGH I KNOW SHE GOT CAST ON ANOTHER TV SHOW.
31) YES I WOULD HAVE RATHERED CHARLIE DIE PLEASE. ESPECIALLY OLD!ADDICT!CHARLIE.
32) EARTH-2 JACK YOU NEVER WENT TO HAVE YOUR DRINK WITH ANALUCIA YOU BITCH.
33) LOOK HOW YOU RUINED EVERYTHING EARTH-2 JACK ALL YOUR FRIENDS ARE UNHAPPY AND DON'T KNOW EACH OTHER HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT.
34) Okay I forgive you since Boone is alive and adorable.
35) WHAT YOU ARE NOT EVEN GOING TO TRY TO SAVE JULIET, SAWYER? WTF.
36) MY GOD JACK YOU ARE SUCH A DOUCHE.
37) "Please go to the nearest courtesy desk to RETRIEVE YOUR FATHER'S CORPSE."
38) BUT IF IT WAS NEVER PUT ON THE PLANE HOW DID CHRISTIAN GET ON THE ISLAND?
39) NO DEAD PEOPLE ON EARTH-2?
40) I love you, Hurley. That IS a big wall.
41) IT IS GOING TO BE AWESOME, HURLEY.
42) But seriously, though. I would rather have Juliet that Sayid McBroodypants.
43) Oh god and Sawyer will be all broodypants too.
44) Are they going to see if they can make all the men broodier than Jack just to even the score?
45) SORRY JACK. KATE IS IN ANOTHER CASTLE.
46) Jack you are a fucking moron.
47) HEY LOOK IT'S THE CITY FROM KING KONG.
48) KATE YOU COULD AT LEAST PEE TO MAKE IT LOOK REALISTIC.
49) NOW IT IS LIKE WITNESS BUT WITH NO AMISH KID.
50) THANK YOU FOR THE VAGUE EXPLANATION FROM BEYOND, JULIET.
51) And now we have pirates!
52) I love you some more, Hurley.
54) Holy crap that is one big ankh.
55) Before the era of messenger pigeons, we used messenger ankhs!
56) SUN COME ON. OH WAIT I FORGOT THIS WAS WHEN YOUR MARRIAGE SUCKED.
57) WHY IS SAYID IN THE JESUS POSE OF ALL THINGS? SERIOUSLY. SERIOUSLY, ISLAND, WAS THAT NECESSARY?
58) "Your friend is dead. Come back in three days."
59) OH FUCK YOU JACK. YOU DIDN'T EVEN BOTHER TRYING TO SAVE JULIET.
60) OH MY GOD POOR FREAKING CLAIRE.
61) I love how Hurley is the leader now. That is so much better than when Jack was pretending to be the leader.
62) Hurley you are so smart.
63) Oh evil!Locke! No, let's not resort to namecalling.
64) OH LIKE YOU'VE NEVER USED ANYONE BEN. COME ON THIS IS YOUR GIG.
65) DON'T YOU TALK ABOUT EARTH-1 LOCKE THAT WAY, EVIL!LOCKE.
66) Evil!Locke, making evil faces won't make you any more evil than you already are!
67) Awww Myles you have a friend!
68) Oh Earth-2 Locke you are so adorable. I remember when you were adorable. And he is all philosophical and cute again.
69) HAHAHA HE LOST THE KNIVES.
70) I remember when Jack was noble without being an asshole too!
71) What happens if Earth-1 Jack and Earth-2 Jack meet? Will the world explode from the force of the angst?
72) EVIL!LOCKE IS DISAPPOINTED IN US.
73) What the hell, Jack. You are such a douche. Oh wait, I knew that.
74) Sayid is so good at this, he woke up faster than Jesus!