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LJ Idol Week 15: "Failure to Communicate"
cap, captain miss america

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I remember where I was on September 26, 2008. I was sitting in the back seat of my mother's car, crocheting, and we were listening to a radio news program on a long car trip-- I suspect it was to or from my grandparents' house, but I don't quite remember that part.

In between relating the traffic report and whatever else the news announcer was talking about-- probably the presidential election-- came the phrase, "and today we have lost an American icon."

This wasn't so long after Teddy Kennedy had been diagnosed with brain cancer and received his grim prognosis, so my immediate reaction was that Kennedy must have succumber to his illness.

But it wasn't Teddy Kennedy. It was Paul Newman, American Actor, age 83.

I was so not ready for that.

Paul Newman was super old. He was older than my grandma. I mean, he was old enough that his death was not super surprising. But, see. The thing that you have to remember is that even if he was 83, he was the HOTTEST 83-year-old man ever. Ever.

I saw Paul Newman once at the theater. I mean, at the theater, in person, not at the theater in the sense that I was viewing one of his films, although I am not ashamed to say that I have seen many, many, many of his films. I don't remember what play it was, but I do remember seeing Paul Newman. Because he was just that hot. Paul Newman was my wake-up call, my voice in my head reminding me that old men can be sexy. Really sexy. And they can race stock cars. Heck yes, they can run their roadsters in circles on dirt tracks from morning till night, and there's nothing you can say about it because, by god, they're eighty-three and, in the words of Paul Newman himself, Holy Christ, whadya know! They're still around!

So I wanted to take this moment to remember some of the hot shit that Paul Newman did during his lifetime:

--Drank the shit out of some booze. Because he was too hot even for Liz Taylor.1
--Founded the shit out of Israel.2
--Won the shit out of some pool.3
--Escaped the shit out of some chain gangs.4
--Shot the shit out of some Bolivian Cavalry.5
--Exploded the shit out of a burning building.6
--Accidentally bankrolled the shit out of the invention of the motherfucking hula hoop.7
--Raced the shit out of some cars.8
--Dressed the shit out of some salads.9

And that is not all. But that is all I have room for on one sheet of paper.

Damn that was one sexy, sexy old man.

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If you are wondering how this relates to the topic for the week, please visit this link.

This entry was written for therealljidol Week 15: Failure To Communicate

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YES YES YES!!! Oh, it broke my heart when he died! You look at his pictures over the decades and go "hot...hotter...even hotter...how is it possible for him to be hotter...OLD. but still hot."

Also. Anything Newman's Own? RULES.

I don't know! He was just blessed by the hotness gods or something. And I love Newman's Own. I like their peanut butter cups especially.

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Hahaha I think the salads line is going to be people's favorite here because most of his movies are old enough that they're not necessarily widely seen. But the salads are delicious!


Oh, Paul Newman. There is less hotness in the world now that you're gone.

There is a lot less! It is a heartbreaking phenomenon!

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I remember the first time I saw Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid and how I didn't really know if I thought Robert Redford or Paul Newman was hotter, and how my best friend fast forwarded through the sepia montage. But I love that movie. Now I need to see Cool Hand Luke.

What! What is wrong with these people, fast forwarding through the awesome parts?

And you would like Cool Hand Luke, a lot, I think.

Loved the last part about the salad dressing :) Funny as usual!

I highly encourage the watching of more Paul Newman movies! I guarantee that not only will you be impressed by the sexiness, but my comic will be nine times more funny!

There is a little bit of sexy in every bottle.

Edifice complex... lololol.

I can't take credit for it! It is straight from the movie!

The hula hoop panel is a winner, but my fave has to be the salad dressing. What a delicious legacy....

Sometime in the 80s or 90s, Paul Newman gave an interview where he talked about how the salad dressing had overtaken his box office paycheck, which I just found so hilarious. It's always funny when someone finds out that The Salad Dressing Guy was also an Oscar-winning movie star. Meanwhile, I grew up with Newman's Own dressing in my house because my mom thought Paul Newman was a hottie.

Hee! I like the take on the topic - it's brilliant.

Also, Paul Newman was the shit.

I am a film nerd! Cool Hand Luke supercedes any actual meaning that phrase could have. So I was worried a bit about people being all WTF but I was like, I can't do anything else without it being forced! So thank you!

And Paul Newman was the shit out of some shit for sure!

I agree with everyone else. Dressed the shit out of some salads. ROTFL

I am going to regret not making the whole post about the salads, aren't I?

I like the way you did the transcript again, although it doesn't quite explain how great the salad panel is :)

Thanks! emo_snal encouraged me to start doing them this way and I think he was right. I know it's not really the same as the comic, but just the straight transcript lacked something in the writing department.

Paul Newman is dead? I genuinely had no idea.

I am sorry! Yes, he died about a year and a half ago now.

Yay, I am excited to see the completed version! Paul Newman = the shit.

It is always cool when people see my work in progress!