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LJ Idol Week 27: Sometimes Why
cap, captain miss america

A Parent's Garden of Reasons
Or, Why, in 26 Letters.

This entry is dedicated to all the parents reading who spent your lives answering the world's most important questions.


--Because the ants live in that hole.
--Because books don't go in the bathtub.
--Because crayon doesn't come off the walls.
--Because dogs don't marry people. They only marry other dogs.
--Because when we eat, our bodies save up the good food and throw away the yucky parts.
--Because fingers don't like it up there.
--Because Goldilocks stole all their porridge.
--Because that's where hamburgers come from.
--Because itching at it will only make it hurt more.
--Because I have to do my job now.
--Because we only kiss people we already know.
--Because lightbulbs only light up when they're in the lamp.
--Because men mostly don't wear brassieres.
--Because if you nap now, you can stay up later.
--Because Mr. Toad would rather be outdoors.
--Because we have to pay before we leave the store.
--Because I don't actually know the answer to that question.
--Because roaring is for lions and not the shoe store.
--Because we are not naming your new sister " Stupidpants."
--Because there are teeny, tiny men inside the TV acting out all the shows.
--Because we always wear underpants when we leave the house.
--Because the vacuum is not a racecar.
--Because you already had two glasses of water.
--Because we can't call Grandma on a xylophone.
--Because I love you.
--And there is zero that will change that.

This entry was written for therealljidol Week 27: Sometimes Why.

This is so adorable, especially the end! I bet if you made it into a real book, people would buy it.

Edited at 2010-05-23 04:57 am (UTC)

This is adorable. I love it!

The only one I remember is "because a rock will fly in and hit you in the face." (Why we don't keep the windows down on the highway.)

Hahahahaha! I never heard that one.

I've had some of these conversations. This is wonderful!

I have had some of them with my cousins' kids. Sometimes kids ask awesome questions.

*melts* This should totally be a poster. You have the bestest ideas!

Aww thank you! I will figure something out.

Aw! I melt!

How do you win so much? Srsly.

Aww, thanks. I just like thinking things!

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♥ I just went and read yours! It was kind of awesome and oh my gosh only a kid could think that way. But yeah, I love when that happens and people have the same basic idea and take it in multiple directions.

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That was adorable. And so true. I think I loved "roaring" the best. I can just imagine the painfully patient tone, half hiding frustration and half trying not to laugh. Appropriate that this comes right between Mother's Day and Father's Day.

Yeah, I was thinking about that when I did it, that it was in between the two Parents' Day Days.

Roaring and the dogs getting married one are my favorite.

This is adorable...sweet...and so true! :)

This is amazingly sweet. If you ever try and shop another book to publishers, this would make an amazing children's story book.

My parents are a teacher and a scientist, so what I remember about asking questions like this when I was younger is that I tended to get either the actual answer ("Daddy, why is the sky blue?" "Well, it's because light refracts certain colors...") or "I don't know-- but let's find out together".

repost for typos, sorry!

Most of these are the actual answer-- except the TV one which is just such an old standard I couldn't not include it. Especially since I think most kids know it's not true and think it' funny when grownups say it. I mostly got the actual answer from my mom and the so goofy it can't possibly be right answer from my dad.

And a lot of people seem to be saying I should shop this. So I am thinking I should try.

I love this! Also, it took me until the -transcript- before I realized it was alphabetical. Go me XD
I recognized so many of those answers as well! It's like moms come pre-programmed!

Aha! I tried to make it clear that they were alphabetical but maybe I need to make it more obvious.

If this were a book, I would so buy it for Paigelet. And not just because I like you. It is that good.

As it is, I will send the link to Kelli so she can read it to Paige. :)

Awww thanks! I hope they both like it too!

awwwww I love it!

My favs would be "because roaring is for lions" "because we only kiss people we know" and "the vacuum is not a racecar."

The "because we only kiss people we know" is one I had problems with when I was little.