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Courtesy the Glenn Beck Conspiracy Theory Generator.
cap, captain miss america

If we don’t act now, we won’t be able to stop the dope-smoking Trotskyites who are acting on the orders of Keith Olbermann so they can euthanize ideological dissidents, just like Franklin Roosevelt did to the Confederates at Bull Run.”

The mainstream media won’t tell you, but government thugs are coming after all of us, and won’t stop until they take away your guns and leave you defenseless when gay Marxist Muslim illegal immigrants come after you.

We are under siege by a parade of militant homosexuals who are working with our enemies to change U.S. currency by putting Al Gore, Michael Moore, and Keith Olbermann on $1, $5 and $14 bills. Add up those numbers and what do you get? 20, which is the same day of the month Hitler was born.

Make your own

The only problem with this thing is that most of them actually sound like things Glenn Beck has said.

Mirrored from Antagonia.net.

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You know what would make this even more believable? Tears. There needs to be crying involved.

I thought my keyboard felt a little damp.

Tea, these just about made me cry. Thank you.

"We must take our country back from the godless socialists who are brainwashing you so they can require every man, woman, and child to gay-marry a same-sex partner, specially chosen by a government matrimony panel."

...I would not be shocked at ALL if he's actually said that one.

"There are crypto-Muslim sleeper agents in every part of the government who are perpetrating an elaborate hoax to fill the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool with bong water."

"It's time we ask ourselves why Hollywood liberals are plotting with the terrorists who attacked us on 9/11 to put you in a socialist reeducation camp. That's where the road ends, people. With you in a camp, lobotomized, and ready to reelect Obama."

These are seriously cracking me up.

I think he HAS said the government matrimony panel one.

The only problem with this thing is that most of them actually sound like things Glenn Beck has said.

Poe's Law, unfortunately (the first definition, not the second).

*laughs* I love these! I'm sure he's said at least half of them, too.

Have you seen this? http://beck.cnnbcvideo.com/index.html

I actually thought these were things Glenn Beck has said. Too much crazy.

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