lee lee lee
laa laa laa
sometimes i think i sing a little too loudly when i am walking places alone. i sing to make an impenetrable sphere around me, as if that really works. usually i sing ave maria, which is my fearless/serenity song, or i sing golden rope (by 16 horsepower), which isn't really an emotion song for me, though it is a very emotional song, but it requires a reverie i'm not much for. but i like the way i sound singing it. or i sing things i make up as i go along, or one of my own songs. frequently i sing lilah's theme, which is a waltz. it has no words. it's a good soundtrack song. i sing bluebeard's ex girlfriend because it's catchy and sarcastic. it's easier when you write something sarcastic because people can't see something so close to you and criticize the way you actually felt about something.
being a singer who has no musical skills sucks. people don't want a singer who can't play an instrument. i can't blame them. but it becomes very tough; i don't understand how to read or write music even after ten years of training and it drives me nuts. i just want to be able to sing, and i don't want to be stuck just singing lame songs that pianists can fake. i don't have the same voice i had when i was sixteen, when i could sing opera at the drop of a hat, but i like what's happened to my voice even if i regret not being able to do those things anymore. i sound like a jazz singer and i don't freak out when i do funny things to my voice to make interesting sounds that aren't "legit" singing. i can growl now. i just wish i had someone to sing for.