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Take a Penny, Leave a Penny!
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teaberryblue


Close to three years ago, karnythia hosted an LJ post where she asked people to leave a comment if they had something they wanted or needed, or if they had something they were willing to give or offer.

I got two things: yarn and friends.

This is how I met rosefox, who has since become one of the people in my life whom I value most.

So I've been thinking a lot lately about that and what a big impact it had on my life over the past three years. And it made me want to do it for other people.

Quoting karnythia's post from all those years ago:

What do you want?
What do you need?
What do you have?

Feel free to answer any or all of them. They do not need to be realistic things (I put world peace on mine last time) If you don't have a LiveJournal, or would prefer to answer anonymously, give us a way to contact you.



Feel free to share this on LJ, DW, and other social media if you like.


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Has it really been three years? Gosh.

What do you want?

FREE TIME.

What do you need?

Suggestions for things that a poly family of three very different adults can do for fun together. Two of us like jigsaw puzzles and board and card games; one finds them boring and/or frustrating. Two of us are foodies; one would prefer to never talk, think, or hear about food again. Two of us have an array of food allergies/intolerances; one eats everything. Two of us like going for long walks; one doesn't like going outside. Two of us are FAAB genderqueer people who need to be reminded their bodies exist; one is a cis male hedonist. Two of us like thinky talky caper movies; one prefers loud shouty action movies. Two of us enjoy handicrafts; one would rather play RPGs. One drinks in moderation; two don't drink at all. We are an obligate extravert, an obligate introvert, and an E/I switch. One loves driving, one gets road rage, and one has never learned to drive. So basically I'm looking for things that are universally appealing, if there is such an animal, because it would be really nice if all of us could actually spend time together doing a thing we all enjoy.

What we do have in common: We're white, queer, and more or less atheists (two raised Jewish, one raised Mormon). We like cats. We live in Brooklyn. We're nerds of the computer technology and SF/F variety, not of the media or comics variety. We're about the same age (35, about-to-turn-35, and 41). We're planning to have a baby. We're dedicated liberal feminist anti-racist social justice activists, with almost all our activism taking place online. We like low-key small-group social activities.

What do you have?

Expert knowledge of NYC. Happy to play tour guide for visitors or make suggestions of things to do and places to go.

Expert knowledge of SF/fantasy/horror and romance/erotica currently being published. Tell me what you like to read and I'll tell you what else you should be reading.


Edited at 2013-08-02 05:20 pm (UTC)

I've talked to you a little bit about activities, but all I want to do now is develop a fiber arts RPG.

....fiber RPG? You play wool spinning and I'll play silk lace knitting? Or have I completely misinterpreted this??

I was thinking an RPG that required knitting to play.

That makes slightly more sense.

Activities are hard

Maybe the three of you can go to pet shops/rescues and play with puppies/kittens together?

Listen to audiobooks together? Spouse & I do this for date night on a semi regular basis. Though it didn't work so well when it was us AND ex-GF.

Read webcomics/icanhascheezburger/cake wrecks together? I've done this with a couple ex-gf's, though spouse is uninterested.

this is hard. :( I'll keep thinking.

Re: Activities are hard

Thanks for the suggestions! We might try the audiobook thing.

This is going to sound a little bizarre, but one thing I love doing socially with friends is reading. I absolutely love sitting in a room with close friends and we're all reading books (different books). Every so often someone will laugh and share a passage that person thinks the others in the room will appreciate. It feels surprisingly social, for me at least!

Riffing on this, would it be possible to have some sort of together-time in which people are all doing different things? For instance, the two people who do handicrafts are crafting, and the other person is doing a similar solo activity? (::recalls fond memories of soldering while friends sew::)

Or how about -- is there some type of project you all could collaborate on that would require three different types of skills/interests?

Aside from movies, are there any other types of performance art all three of you enjoy? Circus, fireworks, theatre, racing, dance, music . . . ? In particular, I've seen some awesome performance art that has a social justice bent to it.

I've also found there are a surprising number of offbeat museums. Even for non-museum-goers, there might be some small quirky place that fits the bill for all three of you . . . although that wouldn't work as a regular thing probably.

I've known a few couples who have just started trying things on Groupon until they found something they both enjoyed -- martial arts class, yoga, Go-Kart racing, boot camp, whatever, they just kept trying things until they found something they were both into to have a common activity. It might take a little more trial and error for three people, and requires a certain amount of spoons to keep on trying new things, but there also doesn't have to be a deadline or anything -- "trying a new thing together" could be something you all do whenever everyone feels up to it?

Sometimes my friend and I impulse buy something that looks fun. (Model rockets, kites . . .) It wouldn't be something you'd have to enjoy forever, but maybe something you all wanted to try out together just to see if you like it?

I'm just brainstorming here; obviously just disregard anything that doesn't fit the three personalities in question. :)

Thank you so much for all these suggestions!

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