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Old white dudes on a train
cap, captain miss america

So I am on a train going to my parents for Christmas.

I have massive, incapacitating menstrual cramps at the moment. I’m not proud. Or tired, in the words of the great Arlo Guthrie.

So I took a seat in the row closest to the bathroom, because I literally could not stand to wait for the toilet.

Another younger woman came to wait for the bathroom, and I politely told her that I was waiting.

The man sitting next to me immediately started telling me that if I wanted to use the bathroom, I couldn’t sit down, I had to stand up and wait for it.

(It’s worth noting that he was not only white but very Anglo-white, and based on the phone conversations I overheard, was also straight and kind of a sexist asshole to his teenaged daughter.)

The other woman waiting for the bathroom, on the other hand, got it, without me having to explain myself, and told me as soon as the bathroom was vacated.

The man was still being an asshole on my way in.

Okay, I think, okay, maybe he just doesn’t get it. I explain when I sit down that I’m very swollen and experiencing a lot of inflammation and simply can’t stand up to wait for the bathroom.

So he decided to CONTINUE BITCHING ME OUT and tells me that I have no right to expect people to let me take the bathroom ahead of them.

I told him I didn’t expect them to, but I told the woman ahead. I didn’t demand she let me in ahead, she was very nice to do that, but I really couldn’t stand on line.

He told me that if I couldn’t stand on live, I should wear a sign alerting everyone to my condition.

I told him that was ridiculous and asked him if he expected disabled people to wear signs too.

Cue lecture about how I was an entitled bitch and yes anyone who expects special treatment should wear a sign.

So I sort of told him I was sorry he was suffering from straight white man syndrome.

That was when he called me a hateful feminist.

I am awaiting my prize.

I told him to stop being an asshole and he just started shouting MERRY CHRISTMAS at me repeatedly like it was a swear word.

(Meanwhile, the other poor woman waiting was primarily a French speaker. Guess which one of us was able to communicate almost fluently with her and which one kept demanding she speak English? It's kind of funny because he just got up and she keeps glaring down the car at him.)


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These kind of jerks get the life they deserve. That is, a rotten one. I can't imagine anyone, ever, being nice to them in return. Plus, they see the world as a terrible place so they're not having any fun to begin with.

It pisses me off though that people like that are married and have families, though. :-/

Kinda makes you cringe on behalf of the family members. That's gotta be hell.

Hopefully his wife is an Ex and not a badgered victim of emotional abuse. Or as bad as he is. He's probably mad that she left him and blames her for it. (Isn't it fun to speculate!) Wait 'til he needs help and nobody comes around, except maybe to spit on his grave!

Haha, you just made me feel so much better :-D

I love you and I really wish I'd been there to witness this exchange.

I have to admit, I would have been tempted to start telling him something that was over the top in an effort to embarrass him. I don't even know where he'd have gone with my wheelchair. He'd probably have decided I was somehow in his way and then demanded to know why I use my wheelchair. It would have been a good time to test my ability to stay straight-faced while saying "shark attack" ;) Then he'd like decide I wasn't actually disabled and had bought an expensive powerchair for fun. (Can you tell I've dealt with this type?)

It sounds like you need a sign to alert everyone of your condition!

I read this last night and have been thinking about it on and off all day. I can't even imagine verbally pushing around a stranger like that.

that makes me so incredibly angry. It's one of those situations where I wish I'd been there. Or worse, Dave.

Or even worse... my mom.

What a penis wrinkle.

I want to know what would have happened if she called him a penis wrinkle.

Ugh, that's awful -- but it sounds like you handled it well!

Also, if anyone's still looking for a last-minute MERRY CHRISTMAS present for me, I could use one of those custom-printed t-shirts reading 'Hateful Feminist'.

Ack, well done for standing up for yourself! I don't know what i'd've done. I like to think i'd've come up with something clever, but I probably would have completely ignored him and felt a bit mlergh about it like the time a few weeks ago when some random man flipped out at me and started yelling at me whilst I was waiting for the bus in a very racist manner and telling me to 'go home'. Like you, I feel sorry for that awful man's poor daughter. *hugs*. What an unnecessarily eventful ride home for you.

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